Need You Now?
by spooksfan08
Summary: Title from the Lady Antebellum song. Set early series 8. Ruth has a little too much to drink and calls Harry. A midnight phone call and a late night tet-a-tete leaves Ruth wondering whether it really was the wine talking.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer I do not own Spooks. All copyright belongs to Kudos productions and BBC television. No copyright infringement is intended nor should be inferred. Title comes from a song by Lady Antebellum - Need you Now. Set some time in early series 8. Prequel to all my other Harry/Ruth stories. Only characters in 8 will be mentioned. Fluff all the way!**

**Need You Now.**

Ruth stared at the half empty wine glass on the table in front of her. She was exhausted. In the six weeks since she had returned to England her life had been turned upside down again. "Ruth." She muttered as she picked the glass up. "What are you doing to yourself?" She asked herself as she glanced at the mobile phone abandoned on the coffee table in front of her. Drinking the red wine she winced as the alcohol hit the back of her throat. It was doing nothing to drown her sorrows - only giving them something to float to the surface on. She closed her eyes and flopped back on the sofa. The soft cushions enveloping her as she sighed.

"Oh Harry! It's all your fault!" She muttered. Seconds later she was dialling a very familiar number.

##############

Harry sipped his tea as he read the reports on the coffee table in front of him. Scarlet curled in her basket as the little grey moggie they had adopted as a kitten weaved around Harry's legs.

"Muggles, go and find Fidget. I have to read these." He scratched the cat's ears as she tilted her head as if weighing up what he was saying. "It's late you daft moggie. Go to bed." He pointed towards the basket next to Fidget's where the older cat was already asleep. She sauntered across to the basket and curled up.

"Well at least someone listens to me." Harry sighed before turning back to the latest report from Ros. He knew he should have read it back at the Grid but he had been keen to get home. Part of him couldn't stand being the last one on the Grid when he knew Ruth was back in the country but another part of him was glad the analyst had left at a fairly decent hour. He sipped his tea, wishing it was a decent malt but knew he had to read the report with a clear head. Lucas and Ros would know instantly if he hadn't and the last thing he needed was his field officers losing respect for him. A shrill ringing noise startled him from his thoughts. Glancing at the clock on the mantlepiece he saw it was already after 1 am.

"Ruth?" He was immediately on alert as he recognised her number.

"Harry." She mumbled back. It sounded like she had either been crying or drinking. Or both.

"What's wrong?" Harry was already on his feet, looking for his car keys and wallet.

"Everything." Ruth sighed. "Everything is wrong. Nothing is right. It's all because of you." He winced as he heard her words.

"Ruth."

"Harry."

"We've done that bit." Harry smiled slightly as her heard her groan. "Are you drunk?"

"No." She snapped. "Yes. Well, a bit. Perhaps."

"Well, your the analyst. You should know."

"Yes! Yes I am the analyst!" Ruth began pacing the living room, a little unsteady on her feet. One arm waving manically as she tried to balance. "Shit!"

"Are you alright?" Harry was immediately concerned. "Where are you?"

"Um." Ruth looked around the flat. "Home. Only it's not home." She slumped back on the sofa. "It's a flat. A crappy little flat. Home is my lovely house with the blue front door and the paint that peels. This! This is where I sleep. Alone. Do you sleep alone, Harry?"

"Excuse me?" Harry raised an eyebrow, knowing she was well and truly under the influence. "How much have you drunk?"

"Some."

"Ruth, I'm coming over."

"No." Ruth shook her head. "I look a mess!"

"It's a quarter past one. You are alone and drunk and phoning people you hate. I am coming over."

"Ok." Ruth sighed. "I don't hate you. I hate what happened."

"I know Ruth." He smiled, a sense of relief filling his heart. "I wont be long."

"K." Ruth sighed. Harry ended the call and headed out of his house, locking the front door behind him.

###################################

A/N More soon. I decided to write pure fluff as Harry's Game is getting a little dark :D Hope you like it. Please review.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer not mine**

**Chapter 2**

Harry pushed his foot to the accelerator, glad that the London streets were quiet at such a late hour. The various taxis and buses seemed to be the only vehicles on the road. He sighed heavily, wondering why Ruth had decided to call him, why she had drunk so much. He cursed the red traffic light and just hoped Ruth would be ok when he arrived.

#############

"Urgh." Ruth flopped on the sofa and stared at her feet. She had no idea why her legs were refusing to work. She wiggled her toes and turned her ankles. They worked but they refused to let her stand up.

"Stupid legs." She slurred before flopping back on the sofa. "Stupid Grid, stupid Ros, stupid whatsisname, urgh. Hate wine. Never having stupid wine again." She closed her eyes and tried to ignore the feeling she had to talk to Harry. "Stupid Harry."

###################

"Ruth!" Harry rang the doorbell for the third time. He knew she was inside the flat and he knew she was expecting him to visit her. He dug in his pocket and pulled out the lock pick he always carried. Seconds later he was in the flat, worried that all the lights seemed to be switched off. A million and one scenarios went through his mind, each one worse than the one before. "Ruth!"

"Mere!" She stayed on the sofa. "Harry!"

He walked into the living room and switched the light on. "Ruth, are you ok?"

"Legs don't work." Ruth stated as Harry couldn't help but smirk. The wine bottle remained on the coffee table in front of the sofa, one wine glass half empty.

"Did you drink all that?"

"Well, it didn't drink itself." Ruth stated as Harry raised an eyebrow. "Why you here?"

"You called me." Harry sat next to her on the sofa.

"Did I? Stupid phone." Rut glared at her tretcherous mobile phone sat on the floor.

"Ruth, getting drunk doesn't help matters. I should know."

"Um." Ruth nodded. "I not drunk."

"Ruth, you're talking like a hyperactive toddler and you can't stand up. That would suggest to me you are drunk."

"I'm the analyst. And I need more wine." She reached over to the table and almost slipped off the sofa. Harry suppressed a laugh.

"No, you need water and paracetamol."

"Why did he do it?" Ruth asked as she pushed herself up into a sitting position as Harry walked to her kitchen. Moments later he was back with the glass of water and two paracetamol.

"Drink this."

"No."

"Ruth."

"Why?"

"It's good for you." Harry handed her the glass. Ruth shook her head like a stubborn two-year old, her brown curls flying around her face. She looked up at him.

"Don't want to."

"Ruth, stop being a stubborn mule and drink the water." She narrowed her eyes for a moment before taking the glass from him. A few sips later and she put the glass down.

"Ruth? Are you going to be sick?" Harry asked as he noticed how pale she had suddenly turned. She nodded before bolting from the room. Harry winced as he heard her vomiting in the bathroom, a few feet away. He waited for her to stop, knowing she wouldn't appreciate him seeing her vomit. He knocked on the bathroom door before realising it was unlocked and pushing the door open. Ruth sat on the floor with her head resting against the porcelain bowl.

"Go home Harry." Ruth spoke into the white porcelain. Harry crouched down beside her.

"No. Come on, can you stand up?"

"Yeah." Ruth gingerly got to her feet. "Why is the room moving?"

"Oh Ruth." Harry slipped his arm around her waist and helped her back to the living room. "Its the alcohol. You'll be fine after some sleep."

"I don't sleep." Ruth rested her head against his shoulder as they walked. "Not anymore."

"Well, the alcohol wont help with that." Harry stated. He hated seeing Ruth the way she was.

"I just feel guilty." Ruth plopped herself down on the sofa, clearly still drunk. Harry sat beside her. "Its your fault."

"I know." Harry nodded. "I know its my fault. I was just trying to buy time. I knew he wouldn't kill the boy."

"Nico." Ruth sniffed as tears filled her eyes. "Not your fault." She shook her head again and immediately regretted it. Harry frowned, wondering just how much wine she had drunk. He blamed himself for George's death and the pain Ruth was currently in.

"Ruth."

"Mani took me." She rubbed her wrist absent-mindedly. "He took me."

"I know." Harry narrowed his eyes.

"Told me." Ruth swallowed hard as tears ran down her face. "Told me, he was going to make me watch as he killed the man I love. If I didn't tell him where the uran, urani, that stuff was he was gonna kill the man I love."

"Ruth." Harry felt his heart break when she looked him in the eye.

"Then you were there." She bit her lip. "I wanted him to think I hated you. I wanted him not to kill you."

"But."

"He was going to kill the man I loved. I thought he knew. I thought he was going to kill you." Ruth held his gaze as Harry swallowed hard. "It's your fault. You made me fall in love with you."

"Sorry." Harry smiled slightly as she held his gaze.

"Why don't you wear waistcoats anymore? Or braces." Ruth ran a finger down his shirt as he raised an eyebrow.

"Things change, Ruth." He sighed as she looked up at him.

"Stupid life, stupid change." Ruth huffed. Harry smiled, not thrown by her change in topic. Seconds later she slumped forward and fell asleep against his chest. Harry sighed as he wrapped her in his arms. Ruth snored gently as he kissed her hair.

"Oh Ruth." He stroked her hair as she slept, knowing he could never forget what she had said, even though it was probably the alcohol talking. He laid Ruth gently on the sofa and made sure she couldn't roll onto her back. A fluffy green throw rested over the back of the sofa so he pulled it over her and sat in the chair opposite the sofa. He was determined not to leave her, tomorrow was Sunday and neither of them were needed on the Grid so no questions would be asked unless a Redflash called them both in. He had a feeling Ruth was going to need him in the morning.

#########################

A/N One more chapter to go. Not sure about this - please review.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer not mine**

**Pure fluff alert - but a little angsty too! Set after my story Status and before One Night Only. Oh and there may be more than one chapter to go. I'm trying to reduce the number of stories I have on the go as I'm going back to uni soon (yep apparently I'm a mature (ahem!) student! I'll keep writing Spooks stories as long as people want me too tho :D)**

**Chapter 3. How to save a life.**

Ruth remained curled on her side as Harry sat on the arm chair opposite. He had discarded his shoes and tie a little earlier. His top shirt buttons undone.

"No." Ruth shook her head in her sleep. "No, please." Harry was instantly alert. He had no idea what Ruth was referring to but he could see she was dreaming. He watched for a moment before walking across and perching on the side of the sofa.

"Ruth."

"No." Ruth shook her head and lashed out. Harry caught her hand before it connected with him.

"Ruth, wake up." He shook her gently. "Ruth, please."

"Harry." Ruth mumbled before falling quiet. Harry closed his eyes as he realised she was dreaming about their time at the hands of Mani. He cursed the man, knowing if he wasn't already dead he would kill him with his bare hands for what he had done to Ruth. He brushed a strand of brown hair away from her face as Ruth slept peacefully.

"It's ok." Harry soothed as she remained silent. "It's ok. You're safe now." He watched as she seemed to quiet under his touch. Not for the first time he marvelled at how young she looked when the weight of the world wasn't on her shoulders. Ruth sighed in her sleep, pouting a little. Harry couldn't help but blush as he heard her whisper his name one more time.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ruth opened her eyes and immediately closed them again. The marching band that was currently taking up residence in her head, along with the lead that seemed to line her stomach forced her to stay awake when all she really wanted to do was sleep. Everything ached. Everything felt wrong. She had no idea why she was sleeping on the sofa or why her green throw was tucked around her. Opening one eye slowly she froze. A man's tie was slung over the back of the arm chair.

"Harry." She mumbled, recognising the gold silk instantly. She closed her eyes once more before opening them. His tie was still there. Along with a pair of shoes she recognised. A noise was coming from her kitchen and as Ruth listened carefully she realised Radio 2 was blasting out the radio. She pushed herself up into a sitting position, trying to work out why Harry's shoes and tie were in her living room when she knew he was at home. Ruth leant forward, fighting the nausea and instantly regretting moving. Looking up she saw the mobile phone on the floor, next to the now empty wine glass.

"Oh bugger." She moaned, remembering how upset she had been at work the day before. How angry she had been that Harry had willingly walked into danger once more. She had wanted to scream and shout at him, to tell him that they had already lost Jo. Did he think they could survive losing him too? Did he think she could? Vague recollections of Harry's voice soothing her and her legs refusing to work came back to her as Chris Evans announced another 80s record would be played. She cursed the radio. It was too loud and very out of tune if the quiet singing she could hear was coming from the radio. She got to her feet and gingerly tried to walk, releaved that her legs now seemed to do as she asked.

#########################

"Right." Harry opened Ruth's fridge and stared at the half empty milk bottle and slightly green cheese he found. The rest of the shelves were empty. "Breakfast may have to be a bit more creative." He picked out the cheese and threw it in the bin.

"What are you doing in my kitchen?" He turned to see Ruth leaning in the kitchen doorway.

"Looking in your fridge." Harry stated. He was far too cheerful for Ruth's liking.

"I see." Ruth closed her eyes. "Why?"

"I was going to make you some breakfast." Harry explained. Ruth couldn't help but smile slightly. The idea of Harry stood in her kitchen after spending the night with her had always been one of her secret fantasies. He looked suitably dishevelled and Ruth had to wonder how long he had been there.

"Thanks." Ruth bit her lip. "Why?"

"Because it's 8 am and breakfast seems to be the customary meal to have at this time of day."

"I feel sick."

"I'm not surprised." Harry smiled. "A fry up should do it. If you had anythign to fry up."

"I don't eat breakfast." Ruth swallowed hard, determined not to be sick in front of Harry. "I don't really eat here. There's sugar and tea bags in the cupboard." Her voice sounded loud to her ears as Harry watched.

"Ruth? Go and have a shower. I'll make us some tea." She nodded before turning towards the bathroom, glad that Harry had given her the chance to put some space between them.

"Er?"

"Yes?" Harry filled the kettle.

"Why are you here? I don't mean to be rude but."

"You called. Said you needed me." Harry watched as realisation dawned in her eyes. "It was a quarter past one, you were a little. Well, a little drunk and I didn't like the idea of you being on your own." Ruth smiled slightly, remembering the empty wine bottle.

"Thanks, Harry." She sighed before wandering off to the bathroom.

################################

Harry opened the kitchen cupboard to see Ruth was true to her word. There were three tea bags left in the packet, a half eaten packet of chocolate chip cookies and a bag of sugar. He smiled, remembering the last time he had made her hot, sweet tea. Shaking his head he realised it was the day before their lives had changed forever. Busying himself with filling the kettle he tried to focus on what he was doing rather than the fact Ruth was just a few feet away, naked and under hot running water.

#################

"Bugger." Ruth let the water hit her and yelped. It was still cold. Eyes shut she fumbled for the shower controls, turning it as hot as she could stand. Seconds later the cubicle was filling up with steam. Ruth rested her head against the white tiles and tried not to let herself die of embarrassment. "I threw up in front of Harry. I was drunk. I was what Jo would have called totally ratarsed." She mumbled. The shampoo squirted into one hand as she mumbled obsentities at herself. Rubbing the cold shampoo into her aching scalp she continued to berate herself over her behaviour, all the time very aware that Harry was in her kitchen in _that_ blue shirt making her tea. Seconds later she swore as shampoo ran into her eyes.

_Oh this just getting better and bloody better_. She thought as she grabbed a towel and jumped around the cubicle. _Oh_ _shit. I told him. I told him I loved him. Oh shit, shit shit_. She picked up the conditioner, hoping that science had found a way to let the Earth open up and swallow her.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Harry poured the hot water into a mug and waited. Ruth seemed to have been in the shower far longer than he thought she would be. Running a hand over his face he walked to the breakfast bar and sat down. Looking around he could see she was right about the flat. It was small, damp and miserable. Everything about it screamed MI6 safe hosue flat. He could see why she hated it.

_At least she doesn't hate me_. He thought to himself. He couldn't help the smile that crept over his face. He gulped down the sugary tea before heading into the living room to begin tidying up.

###################

Ruth dressed quickly, already feeling a little more human than she had when she had found herself on the sofa. Pulling her damp hair away from her collar she headed out into the kitchen only to find the room abandoned.

"Harry?" She looked around the kitchen. The kettle Lucas had bought her as a 'flat warming' present remained next to her abandoned mug. "Harry?" She called as she walked into the living room. She stopped in her tracks as she realised Harry was sat on her sofa with the green throw curled in his hand. His own mug sat next to the empty wine bottle. She bit her lip as she realised Harry had finally given into sleep. She watched him for a moment before deciding what to do next.

###############

A/N more soon. Please review.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer see previously**

**Thanks for all the reviews. I didn't think anyone would like this story much. **

**Breakfast?**

Ruth's headache showed no signs of abating but she knew there was no one else to blame for her hangover other than herself. She bit her lip as she watched Harry sleep peacefully on her sofa.

"Oh Harry." She smiled slightly before slipping her hand in the jacket pocket and retrieving his keys. She knew better than to attempt driving when she was still slightly drunk so she ordered a taxi and hoped Harry would still be there when she got home.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Harry opened his eyes gingerly, unsure for a moment where he was. He blinked as he realised he was on his own. A white envelope sat on the coffee table next to his cold tea. Shaking his head he picked up the paper and leant back against the sofa as he read the familiar handwriting.

_Harry, _

_Thanks for looking after me last night. I know you didn't have to come over when you did. And I know I behaved appallingly. The least I can do is cook breakfast, well lunch for us. So, I've slipped out to the shops. I've taken your keys to collect Scarlett and feed the cats. I hope that is ok. Hopefully I'll be back before you wake up._

_Yours, Ruth x_

He smiled as he read the note again. Ruth had nothing to thank him for as far as he was concerned. The moment Ruth asked he would always come running. It was what he did. It was like he was programmed to be there for her, whether she wanted him to be or not. It was the way things were with them. He folded the piece of paper and placed it in his pocket. The thought of Ruth out shopping for them made him smile, but he was still worried about her. She had been quieter since she had returned from Cyprus and he worried that coming back to the Grid would push her over the edge. It was the last thing he wanted.

##################

"Scarlett?" Ruth called as she let herself into Harry's house. The little terrier padded along the hallway towards her. "Some guard dog you are." Ruth knelt to pick the little dog up. Scarlett promptly licked her face as Ruth laughed. "Where's your bowl and lead? Eh? You want to come to my flat? Find Harry?" She watched as the little dog tilted her head on one side at the mention of his name. "I'll take that as a yes." Ruth laughed before putting her down to spoon bowls of cat food out for Muggles and Fidget, disappointed that both cats seemed to be out of the house. Scarlett, on the other hand was delighted at being the centre of attention once more.

#################

Harry wandered into the bathroom, deciding he really should smarten himself up if Ruth had gone to the trouble of going to the shops for them. He decided to ignore the doubt that she had done it to get away from him. He ran a sink full of water before searching out a bar of soap. The last thing he wanted was for Ruth to think he had let himself go since she had gone into exile, even though it was partially true. Minutes later he was regretting not bringing a change of clothes with him. Sighing at his reflection in the mirror over the bathroom sink he walked out into the living room as the front door slammed shut.

"Hey." He bent down as the little dog bounded towards him. "Were you a good girl for Ruth? I bet you were." He fussed over the little terrier as Ruth raised an eyebrow. "You're a good girl, aren't you? Hey? My good girl." Scarlett promptly rolled onto her back, expecting Harry to rub her belly.

"The others on the Grid would never believe me." Ruth smiled as Harry looked up sheepishly.

"You breathe a word and I'll have you stationed to Siberia."

Ruth laughed before wandering into the kitchen with two heavy shopping bags. Harry smiled, amazed that the little dog had brought out a side of him he never showed anyone. "Scarlett, what am I going to do with you? I have an image to protect." He laughed as the little dog jumped up and licked his face. Ruth bit her lip, aware that laughing just made her headache even worse.

########################

"Harry." Ruth sat down opposite him as he picked up his mug of tea. "I am so sorry about last night."

"Why? You have nothing to be sorry for." Harry sipped his tea, his heart racing. He had no idea whether she remembered everything she had said. Part of him hoped she did, another part was afraid she'd run away from him again.

"I was so angry with you." She sighed. "For going off on your own the way you did. I mean you always berate Lucas and Ros for dropping out of contact yet you did the same."

"I know." Harry watched as she took a sip of her own drink. Scarlett found a spot on the carpet that was soaked in sunlight before settling down. "I didn't mean to worry you."

"Well, you did." Ruth held his gaze. "We lost Jo a few weeks ago. Before that the team lost Ben. You think they can stand losing another officer? You think I can stand to." She tailed off, closing her eyes. Harry felt his heart rate speed up.

"I didn't mean to upset you." Harry answered honestly. "For that I am sorry."

"It's ok. It's just taken me a while to get back into the way things are. That's all." She opened her eyes to see him watching her. "Last night, did I mentioned something about my legs not working?"

"You did." Harry smiled. "Apparently they refused to do as you asked. You were talking to your feet when I arrived."

"Oh God." Ruth buried her head in her hands as Harry smiled. "Oh God, what must you think of me?"

"I think you are adorable when you are drunk." Harry spoke without thinking. Ruth kept her hands over her face, blushing furiously.

"I don't normally drink so much. George hated me drinking at all. Said I was a lush if I so much as opened a bottle of wine. He drank but it was unlady like for me to do the same."

"Ruth." Harry reached out and covered her hand which now rested on the table between them. He had never heard her talk about her relationship with the deceased doctor before. He hated to think of her with another man, but hated to think she had been in any way unhappy in her new life or made to feel less than how special she really was.

"I didn't trust myself to drink much anyway. I didn't want to say anything out of place." Ruth sighed. "Oh God."

"What?" Harry frowned.

"I said a lot of things last night." Ruth groaned. Harry nodded before getting to his feet. He was at her side in seconds.

"You did." Harry agreed. "Not all related to a treacherous mobile phone or feet that refused to listen." Ruth bit her bottom lip as Harry brushed a strand of brown hair away from her face. "Do you remember talking about Mani and what happened?" She nodded as Harry held her gaze. His eyes softer than she remembered.

"Yeah." She took a deep breath. "I think I do." She felt her pulse quicken. She remembered everything. One of the things she had learned since her first hangover was her memory didn't really get diminished by the alcohol. It was just a bit fuzzy at times.

"Well." Harry watched her as she glanced away for a moment. "I think you should know. The feeling is mutual." He kissed her cheek but Ruth moved too quickly, catching his lips with her own. Harry pulled away and smiled wondering just where this left them now.

#########################

A/N Maybe one or two chapters left. Will Harry and Scarlett spend the weekend with Ruth? What about Monday on the Grid? Please review.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer not mine**

**The Elephant in the Room?**

"Oh." Ruth blushed furiously as Harry got to his feet.

"You always knew how I felt about you." Harry's voice washed over her. "You know how long I've been in love with you." Ruth bit her bottom lip, the tears filling her eyes. Harry swallowed hard, about to stand up and move away when Ruth touched his face.

"Yes, I knew." She smiled slightly. "Bit different, knowing it to hearing it."

"True." Harry covered her hand with his own. "I love you Ruth Evershed." He smiled, relieved that it was finally out in the open. He had finally managed to say what he had waited almost three and a half years to say. Ruth nodded.

"I." He kissed her gently on the lips as she wrapped her arms around him. "I need time." She stated as he pulled away. Harry froze for a moment. It felt like they had taken two steps forward and fourteen steps back. "Wait." Ruth sensed him pulling away from her. "I'm hungover, I'm shattered and I know tomorrow on the Grid is going to be difficult. Ros can read me like a book."

"Ros can read everyone like a book." Harry raised an eyebrow. "It's why she's so good at what she does."

"I just don't want us to be gossiped about. I mean, I know me coming back has to be gossip enough to keep Thames House going for years but I don't want my love life to be all over the place. I don't want to be disrespectful to George."

"Ok." Harry nodded. "You feel unfaithful to his memory."

"No." Ruth stated sharply. "I don't. I felt like I was cheating on you when I was with him. Does that make sense? I don't feel like that now but I need time. I need to be able to adjust to everyone and everything again."

"I can wait." He brushed a strand of brown hair away from her face. "Although unless we have something to eat in the very near future I may die of starvation first." Ruth rolled her eyes before stepping back from him. Something told her Harry was not going to let things stay as they had been. Not now he had confirmation about how she felt. Smiling slightly she headed towards the kitchen in search of ingredients for their meal.

################

Scarlet yawned before settling down on the rug in front of the small electric fire Ruth had bought from the local electrical shop. Harry smiled, amazed at how at home the little terrier seemed to be.

"Making yourself at home eh girl?" Harry smiled at her as the little dog looked up at him without moving. "We'll be going home soon."

"I thought you were going to let me cook lunch for us." Ruth appeared in the kitchen doorway, looking rather pale and unsure of herself. Harry got to his feet before turning to face her.

"She's just getting a little bit comfy. Ruth, are you alright?"

Ruth nodded, not sure she could say anything without giving away how awful she was feeling. The headache had settled a little but the nausea was threatening to overwhelm her once more.

"Ruth?" She turned and bolted from the room leaving Harry to wonder what was wrong this time. Minutes later he stood outside the bathroom door listening to taps running. "Ruth?" He leant against the door. "What's wrong?"

"Sorry." Ruth pulled the bathroom door open. "I."

"Nothing to be sorry for." He smiled at her. "Are you ok?"

"Now I am." Ruth blushed before ducking away from him. Harry closed his eyes, frustrated that she still seemed to be running from him, even though she had finally told him how she felt. "Red wine and me doesn't seem to mix."

"I'm more of a spirits man myself." Harry watched her nod. "Ruth, you don't need to cook anything. I can go home."

"No." Ruth said before she had a chance to stop herself. "I mean, you don't have to. We can order take away. It may be safer, to be honest. There's a pizza place that opens on Sundays but it's not really much of a Sunday dinner and.."

"Ruth." Harry placed his hands on her shoulders forcing her to look up at him. For a moment time stood still. She wasn't sure she was even breathing as he looked into her eyes. "Pizza is fine. I don't want to make you uncomfortable, we can forget everything that was said last night. Everything that we said earlier. We can carry on as we have been."

"I don't want that." Ruth whispered. "I."

"I'm not altogether sure what you want, Ruth." Harry snapped. Ruth fell silent, regretting the entire weekend.

"I."

"I'm sorry." Harry stared at her. "We can get past this."

"Harry." Ruth took a deep breath. "This is what I want. I want there to be an us. I just don't want the rest of Thames House to have an opinion on it. I don't want to walk in to knowing stares from Ros or Lucas. You know she came here? Told me to come back to work. She knows how we feel about each other."

"I know." Harry nodded. "She's be a rubbish spook if she didn't see it. She's also grown up a lot since you went away. She isn't the same. Give her a chance." Ruth nodded.

"If she knows then Lucas does."

"Excuse me?"

"You've seen how close they are?" Ruth watched as he looked at her blankly. "Ros and Lucas. They are close. Don't tell me you haven't noticed?"

"And now who's gossiping?" Harry recovered well, although he had no idea what she was talking about. "We can take things as slowly as you want to. Just please, don't run from this, us, whatever us is anymore." He watched as she nooded.

"I think my running days are over." She smiled. "You order the pizza."

"You only want me for my take away ordering skills." Harry pretended to sulk as he walked towards the phone. Ruth smiled genuinely in what felt like the first time since she had set foot on UK soil.

"Not the only thing." Harry smiled back at her as the pizza shop girl asked to take his order.

#################

A/N Last chapter soon x Please review.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer not mine. Penultimate chapter.**

**What Now?**

Ruth woke suddenly, unsure where she was for a moment. The sight of empty pizza boxes and empty mugs reminded her. She sighed happily as she remembered the conversation before the pizza had arrived. Even with the alcohol half out of her system she was certain she had spent most of it rambling drunkenly. She closed her eyes again as she realised Harry was still asleep. His arm across her waist as she rested her head on his chest listening to his heart beat. Scarlett yawned as she watched the couple but decided to stay where she was. For once her human seemed happy.

"Ruth." Harry whispered some time later, aware that her dream was slipping into the realms of nightmares. "Wake up. It's ok. Wake up." He shook her gently as she mumbled something he couldn't understand.

"No." Ruth seemed to catch her breath as Harry watched her. "No, you." She opened her eyes with a start. The memory of a single gunshot startling her awake.

"Ruth? What is it?"

"I." She pushed herself away from him. "I. Sorry." She ran a hand through her messy brown hair. Scarlett immediately got to her feet, ready to take on whoever had upset the humans in the room.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Ruth turned to face him. "How long have you been having these nightmares?" She swallowed hard before standing and walking into the kitchen. She desperately needed some space between them. Her small flat was suddenly too small, too claustrophobic. Harry buried his head in his hands as he watched her walk away, knowing that he still had a long way to go before he got her to break down the walls she had so carefully built. Being drunk was one thing, Ruth stone cold sober was another. He glanced at Scarlett and shook his head as the little dog watched him.

#########################

Ruth filled the kettle and stared at the tiles on the wall. She had no idea why she had drunk so much wine less than twenty four hours earlier or why she wanted Harry to around so much. She shook her head, glad that at least she could do so without pain. "Bloody Harry Pearce. Bloody red wine."

"I don't know." She paused as she heard him speak. "I think I should be thankful for the red wine. You're more honest when you are drunk."

"Honest?" Ruth turned to face him. "Honest? In our line of work you taught me that was a luxury that can rarely be afforded."

"We're not at work now."

"No." Ruth glanced anywhere but at his face. She knew if she looked in his eyes then she would be lost. "No, we're not at work now."

"So?" Harry stepped towards her. "What do you suggest we do?"

"Like I said." Ruth paused her eyes flittering up to his. "Ros knows about us. Which means Lucas knows about us. Malcolm always has known and Tariq."

"What about Tariq?" Harry smiled slightly as he watched her. It was obvious she was trying to rationalise everything in her head. He'd given up on rationalising anything to do with his feelings for Ruth years earlier.

"He's going to work it out, sooner or later. Jo did." Harry rested his hands on her arms as she spoke. He nodded, seeing that she was right.

"Does it matter?"

"Harry."

"If they haven't worked it out by now then I should sack the lot of them. I've never hid how I feel about you."

She smiled slightly as she rested her palms against his blue shirt. "That's a good point." She glanced up as Harry pulled her to him. "But you can't be seen to have a weakness. Our relationship, whatever it is makes you something to gossip about."

"Gossip has never worried me."

"Exactly." She pulled back from him for a moment. "Exactly, it worries me. I'm the one that has to face the whispers and the silences when I walk in a room. It's me that's going to be seen as your weakness. All that happened with Mani shows that. Even after all this time."

"If no one knew about us?" Harry paused. "Would you be worried?"

"But."

"Think about it. If we could keep this secret then would you consider it?"

"Yes." Ruth sighed as he smiled at her. "But I need time Harry."

"I can wait, Ruth. However long it takes." Harry kissed her forehead. "I can wait." Ruth smiled slightly before letting him pull her into his arms. Ruth groaned as the mobile phone she had abandoned on the kitchen table sprang into life. A second later Harry's did the same.

"Redflash." She sighed. "Oh God, and I'm not sober enough to risk driving yet."

"Then hopefully the rest of the team will be too engrossed in their work to realise we arrived together." He smiled as he picked up the phone. "Seems Nightingale don't care what we are getting up to in our private life." Ruth stepped past him and grabbed her jacket.

"We don't walk in together." Ruth stated.

"Whatever you want." Harry smiled, feeling that at least he had won this battle. Getting through Ruth's self imposed barriers was going to take time but at least she had admitted her feelings. That, Harry had to admit was a start.

#####################

A/N Last chapter soon. Hope this makes more sense than the last chapter did. x


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer not mine**

**Thank you all for the messages and reviews I've had. Especially Sparky, LittlemissRuth and Lady Dunla and Rosetintedblindspot. The person who sent the 'guest' reviews had hacked an account and clearly thought he/she was clever scaring people. **

**Reality Check.**

Ruth paused, her hand on the door handle as Harry watched. The rain splattered the windscreen and he knew she was having second glances at getting out in the rain. He smiled as she took a deep breath.

"Ruth."

"When we walk in the Grid it's back to real life." Ruth sighed. "I mean."

"I know what you mean." Harry rested a hand on hers. "We go on as we always have at work. It's none of anyone's business what happened on the weekend."

"I know." Ruth smiled slightly. "I really shouldn't have got that drunk."

"Well, for one. I am glad you did." Harry smiled as Ruth blushed furiously. "Now close the door. You are not walking in this weather. I need an analyst that doesn't have pneumonia."

"But."

"If anyone says anything I will ask as to why they aren't concentrating on the matter at hand."

Ruth bit her bottom lip before nodding and closing the door on the awful weather.

#########################

"Nightingale." Ros snapped as she looked around the Grid. "Lucas? What does Nancy Drew have to say about it? Walker let anything slip?"

"No." Lucas looked up from his computer screen just as the Pod doors opened. Ruth walked in, headed straight to her own workstation. "Ruth? Have you seen this?"

"I just arrived." Ruth shrugged off her jacket before sitting down. "What happened?"

"Walker is dead and we think he may have been the CIA's link to Nightingale." Tariq stated. "But something doesn't add up. I'm doing a financial search on him and his family."

"Only on Walker?" Ros stated.

"No, a few others." Tariq looked up. Ruth frowned slightly before looking towards Harry's office to see him already at his desk. Smiling slightly she knew none of the others had seen Harry slip in to the Grid via the fire escape. She bit her bottom lip as she caught his eye.

"Ruth." Lucas walked across to her desk. "Anything?"

"No GCHQ chatter. No unusual internet activity and nothing out of the ordinary." She leant back in her chair. Lucas closed his eyes for a moment.

"This is impossible."

"No it isn't." Harry stated as he emerged from his office. "Ros, we are to meet with the Home Secretary in one hour. Ruth? My office. Now." He turned and stormed into the office. Tariq raised an eyebrow as Ros and Lucas exchanged glances. The last thing Ros wanted was another trip to see Blake.

"Have you upset him?" Lucas smiled.

"No more than usual." Ruth sighed, apparently resigned to a ticking off from Harry. She pushed her chair back and headed to the office. Ros shook her head before calling Lucas' name. Seconds later everything about Ruth's apparent place in Harry's bad books was forgotten.

###############

"Yes Harry." Ruth closed the office door behind her.

"Are you alright?" He watched as she crossed the office towards him.

"I'm ok. It was a good idea." She paused. "For us to come in seperately. Thank you."

"Anything to stop that lot from losing concentration. Lucas and Ros are not gossips but Tariq is so young." Harry paused. "Ruth."

"He's chasing the money." She smiled as Harry raised an eyebrow. "Trying to see if Walker was being paid by Nightingale. It's worth looking into at least."

"Yes." Harry held her gaze. "Any lead is useful at any this stage." Ruth nodded before glancing towards the main Grid. None of the others seemed to notice what was going on.

"Harry." Ruth glanced at his tie before lifting her eyes to meet his. "This weekend."

"Was probably the best weekend I've had in a very, very long time." He smiled, his voice low. "Ruth."

"Even with me vomiting, acting like a drunken idiot and making a fool of myself?" She blushed as he raised an eyebrow.

"You did not make a fool of yourself." Harry stated firmly. "I think I quite like a drunken Ruth."

"Oh." Ruth touched his hand as time seemed to stand still. "Maybe we could.." The door to the office burst open as Tariq appeared in the doorway.

"Tariq - next time would you be so kind as to acquaint your hand with the wooden panel of my office door before barging in?" Harry snapped as Tariq stepped back.

"Oh right, yeah. Sorry." Tariq glanced at Ruth sympathetically. Ruth smiled, aware that Tariq really believed she had been reprimanded for something. "Only, you really want to see this."

"Ok." Harry sighed before ushering him out of the office. "Ruth, we will continue this later." He winked as Ruth nodded happily.

"Yes, Harry." She smiled as Tariq headed towards his desk. "I think we will."

#######################

A/N And this then leads into One Night Only and One Night Only Redux. Please review.


End file.
